Having spent the last twenty years perfecting the sports sedan, BMW has now taken up the ultimate challenge, perfecting the road. Road Warmers are the result of twenty years of German engineering. Represent perhaps the single most important contribution to the automotive industry in the past decade.

Road Warmers employ laser technology to ensure constant road conditions. The way in which they operate is simple. Underneath the car, four pivoting convex lasers are mounted in front of each wheel. The lasers are aimed at the pavement directly in front of the tread stance. They work in tandem with five speed turbo fans. So not only do they manage to melt snow and ice, they also dry the road of excess moisture. They virtually eliminate the need to clear your driveway during winter. Inside the car, the driver is continually apprised of the climatic conditions through BMWs onboard computer and Active Check Control. This enables the driver to set the road to a temperature that best suits their level of performance. The result is a road that never changes. Four seasons become one. Eventually Road Warmers will be standard on all new BMW’s. As part of a special offer, your dealer will install them on your present car free of charge.

But you should hurry. This offer is only available April 1st, so you would be a fool to miss this one.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 1st, 2005 at 7:20 am and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.